Today at work I had my show lesson. A show lesson is where you prepare a half an hour lesson to be performed in front of the principal. The end result being, that if she approves of how the lesson went, you are then able to perform it again as a public lesson. A public lesson occurs on an open day, where all the students’ parents come in and watch, which is somewhat of an ordeal if what my co-workers tell me is true. So I did my usual thing where I jump around and act like a genuine idiot for 25 minutes, doing the hokey pokey and singing hickory dickory dock, while the kids join in and giggle themselves stupid at the silly fat ‘waiguo ren’ up the front . Afterwards I am taken up to see the principal where her thoughts are carefully translated by my co-teacher Caroline. “Our leader has one word to describes your lessons” (sic) she starts, I’m slightly panicky but figure they’re unlikely to send me home over whatever the problem is… “Very good!” Phew, I’m so relieved I don’t even bother to correct the three blindingly obvious grammatical mistakes they just made. So all in all, it was very successful and they continued to sit there and praise me for ten minutes. And they call this work.

As you may or may not have heard, my very best friend Hannah just came all the way to Wuhan to visit me. She managed to drag along one of her friends to help keep her occupied whilst I was at work. The day they arrived we had drinks at the residence, in warm sunny weather (around 25 deg), went out to Prison Bar which is a hideous dingy bar that serves very cheap spirits and Boags no less! This was followed up by some serious KTV action. There is something so wonderful about China and karaoke, I can’t help but have a fantastic time, it’s so much more fun here than back home. So after belting out a round of Michael Jackson’s Thriller, Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart, and (my new go to song) Bon Jovi’s You Give Love a Bad Name, we stumble out into the dirty streets of Wuchang to grab some early morning street snacks and head home! But not before I get wound up in the moment and buy an ill-fitting red leather jacket. Mmm… Don’t take shopping advice from drunken friends.

This was also the night I introduced Hannah and her friend Kristie to Jinjiu. Jinjiu is the less potent sister to Baijiu, which is classified as a ‘Chinese vodka-style spirit’, but is more colloquially known as ‘that nasty cheap shit that tastes like paint stripper’. You can learn more about this rank liquid at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baijiu . Sufficed to say I decided I wanted Hannah to come out with me again at some point so I eased her in with the slightly less rancid Jinjiu, which tastes more like fermented vegemite and has nowhere near as much alcohol content, but still manages to sneak up on you if you aren’t careful. So with enough watery beer and Jinjiu under our belts we had a great night out!

Now for the best story of Hannah and Kristie’s whole stay. One night after work they invite me over to their hotel room for some drinks and a Jacuzzi (which was advertised on their website and on the in-room flier). The weather has turned pretty dreadful here now (slipping down to about 10 degrees) so I’m thinking a Jacuzzi sounds great. I head over, Han and I get stuck into some 12 year old Ballentines she’s found, Kristie is knocking off some of her Absolut, we’re playing cards and decided it’s about time we head out and get our hot tub on. So down we trundle, to the floor with the swimming pool, saunas and most importantly, the Jacuzzi’s! We sidle on up to the desk and ask “where are the hot tubs please?” When we are given the most unwelcome response of ‘women have shower, men have this’. Huh? Why would we come all the way down to the 5^th floor to have a shower? We could do that in the suite. Odd… but we persevere… “When can we have a Jacuzzi?” “Oh no, women no have Jacuzzi, only shower”. RIGHT!

With a couple of scotches under my belt, I’m ready to go down to reception and sort this out. Hannah and Kristie are not happy, saying they only booked to stay at THE BEST WESTERN (yes, I’m using names) because they offered Jacuzzi’s. So down we go, get a wee bit riled up, and demand to have an explanation. Max (oh lovely Max), our assistant manager tells us it’s all good, head back up and we’ll be getting out Jacuzzi very soon. Ten minutes and one pre-Jacuzzi shower later we’re sitting on the couches waiting to be led into the room, when all of a sudden a trail of about 15 business men come streaming out of the Jacuzzi Room, looking exceedingly put out, followed by about three over dressed women. Suddenly the penny drops. The Wuhan Best Western hasn’t got any ordinary Spa room, it is in fact a men’s only number.

Suddenly the idea of a Jacuzzi isn’t so appealing. Unless it’s thoroughly bleached first. I’m overhearing the staff of this floor tell the men that they can now have free drinks in the bar (trust those to be some of the few Chinese words I’ve picked up). Next we are told to wait an hour while the area is cleaned then it’s all ours. So now Hannah, Kristie and I are realising that the hotel has probably just lost a LOT of money all because we demanded a Jacuzzi which now we’re not that keen to have. Still, we figure we’re grin and bear it, but alas, it was never meant to be. We get called down an hour later, everything is ready for us, we are escorted to the Jacuzzi room to find –WHAT! There is NO JACUZZI! The whole evening has been in vain, they do not even have a Jacuzzi, despite advertising having one and my having brought the picture from the suite down to show them and everything! Ugh! At least we got to have a laugh…

The final part of my latest instalment regards the change in weather. As I write it is now 2 degrees, the warmest it has been in three days. It has been snowing, that’s right, SNOWING. “It never snows in Wuhan” they say… pretty sure that 4 inches of white stuff everywhere outside ain’t just dust. However, despite the fact that I can’t stand the cold, I will say it was very exciting to wake up yesterday and see how pretty everything looked. Even dirty filthy Wuhan looks lovely under a layer of snow. Plus I got to frolic in it; I’ve never frolicked in snow before. I made a snowman, not a very good one, but I made him none the less. I even got to throw snow balls from the stop of my roof onto the heads of the school kids down below. It was awesome!

The one downside to all this is that even though it’s averaging around 1-2 degrees at the moment, NOTHING in China is heated. The class rooms aren’t, my staff room isn’t, when you go out to a restaurant it’s not, you are still constantly covered in 25 layers. Thank heavens I found a pair of polar fleece lined pants that fit under my jeans… I feel like I’m turning into Grandma (bless her!).